Wednesday, 8 May 2013
The television screen crackles white noise, like a thousand pieces of fluff migrated to the inside of the box as the world sleeps. Under the mountainous cover of my bed I fall into dreams, tumbling down the spire of my overloaded subconscious.
The days collected, my eyes like sponges into shuttered moments of startling brilliance. It feels like you can take a lungful of air, centering yourself to the universe that offers you wisdom in the strangest of places.
Beyoncé tells me to be a light in the world, to live in love and to do everything that makes me happy. Khloe Kardashian looks right at the screen, and resists her family's continuance that she needs a boyfriend. She says she doesn't need a man to define her, that she's young and she can have fun and enjoy herself. Katniss Everdeen is the keeper of her own destiny, and she's the one that does all the saving.
I didn't really know what I wanted this blog to be about, because I didn't realise that I didn't have to choose. In the space of a day I can decide that what I want is to be single and have fun in the big city, then feel like maybe a boyfriend wouldn't be so bad. As night creeps in I'll think about the betterment of myself, to push myself physically, to get writing, to discover my spirituality.
I've now decided and realised, that in fact I can do it all. I've spent my entire life walking the line of polarity, I've seen it all and taken them all to the extreme, and then gone running in the opposite direction before daybreak. I've realised not taking things seriously doesn't make me a whore, and that seeing a man doesn't mean in the space of two weeks I have to be a happy homemaker and drop everything.
So I can be a young professional in London who works hard for their career, exercises regularly, writes often, tries to discover their spirituality, goes on a couple of dates a month, has fun with his friends and loves his family. I can do it all, and this blog is going to be about how I try.
I pulled every thread I had and made a tapestry.